It’s the first day of the month (and of the quarter) and the news is coming in hot.
Frequent Miler is pleased to be the first to publicly announce American Airlines’ new, unprecedented 24-hour arrival guarantee.
“Greg the Frequent Miler has been tough, but fair, in how he’s held us to account over the years,” said AA spokesperson Imma B. Late. “So we were thrilled to be able to share the news of our industry-leading ‘You’re Fairly Safe in Our Hands’ arrival guarantee. We cherish our passengers and know that our flights carry them to family members, weddings, honeymoons and miles-and-points seminars. We want them to feel safe in the knowledge that they will always arrive within 24 hours of their scheduled time.”
Here’s what’s included in AA’s “You’re Fairly Safe in Our Hands” guarantee:
- Every American Airlines passenger is now guaranteed to arrive no later than 24 hours after their scheduled arrival time.
- In the unfortunate event that a flight is delayed longer than 24 hours, AA will give each passenger, regardless of elite status, a $10 voucher to the airport food court (alcohol not included) and a 10% off coupon for Cinnabon.
- Platinum elites and higher will be able to trade 500-mile upgrade certificates for a package of mini pretzels or one biscotti. Gold members will be allowed to use free airport wifi to look at unused 500-mile certificates accumulating in their accounts.
Direct Link to Official “You’re Fairly Safe in Our Hands” Announcement Page
Key Terms and Conditions
- Exclusions from the “You’re Fairly Safe in Our Hands” guarantee include, but are not limited to: inclement weather, equipment failure, crew callouts, asteroids, bankruptcy, the pilot needing to catch-up on “Bridgerton,” dental work, rain, snow, sleet, hail, sun, clouds and damage from Santa’s Reindeer.
- American Airlines is not responsible for any oral injuries resulting from the consumption of mini-pretzels.
- Food court voucher is only valid at Sbarro’s and Orange Julius.
- 10% Cinnabon coupon will expire 30 days from issue, unless extended by the purchase of miles or magazine subscriptions.
- If American Airlines deems that any mileage accumulation from a delayed flight was due to “gaming,” the American Airlines Shopping Portal will remove the miles from the members’ account.
Hear that? It’s the sound of slow-clapping for American. While they may have a history of late flights, stranded passengers and disinterested customer service, this really sets a new bar for airline accountability and I applaud them.
Will this industry-leading customer care be enough to woo Greg the Frequent Miler back into the fold? I’d bet a package of free mini-pretzels the answer will be “yes.”
This new benefit arrived just in time for all the people who were stranded this past weekend!
Recently travel with AA, 3 aircrafts , out of four I had to fly on were brocken and had to be fixed before taking off! So we were late to connecting flights and arrived to final destination 8 hours late!
Will avoid AA much as possible in the future!
Pretty good, Tim.
Fairly…24hrs late. 500 upgrade voucher for a biscotti.
This has to be pure April Fools Day folly!
I know you are trying to have a laugh at our expense, but this is.a really good idea and I’m going to have my team look into this
Thanks Robert. It’s good to be able to speak truth to power and be heard.
Congrats on the new gig! You have small shoes to fill!
Can the Cinnabon certs be stacked? Might be a play there.
Need DP’s, but could be a YMMV based on the Cinnabon cashier.
Not too far from the truth.
Wait, why is everyone laughing…? Isn’t this accurate for American Airlines…?
At first I fell for it because I can believe that AA would do some of those things…though I don’t think AA would ever give you 10% off of anything.
L-O-L Larry, L-O-L
For a second I was like mmmm interesting. Then I saw the 500 certificates for pretzels and then I kinda still was intrigued, then I went to see what gold get and it was wifi so it gave it away hahaha
Nice. April Fools. It appears some didn’t get it.
I expect nothing less from my favorite and number one airline. They are truly unprecedented.
How about they fix their contract of carriage (COC) where they can leave you stranded if they miss a connection because the original flight was late arriving at the connecting airport. They would just be happy to refund the unused portion of your ticket then get you to your destination.
Can the 10% off at cinnamon be stacked with the $10 food voucher?
The terms clearly state that the voucher can only be used at S’barro and Orange Julius.
It’s officially against the terms, but could be a YMMV situation.
By the way, love the guarantee that you arrive no later than 24 hours after the scheduled arrival time. It does not guarantee where you arrive to. Very AAish!
Good catch. That needs to be in the T&C
Good one Tim, but you waited too long and I already saw it on another site!
Curses! Foiled again!
Yea, def April Fool’s, no? “Fairly” safe? Eesh. Who would fly an airline with that slogan?
You should have waited until tomorrow to post actual news like this. Someone could almost take this for an April fool’s joke!
Marriott adding value to Bonvoy would be a good April Fool’s joke except that nobody would believe it.
Good point…oversight on my part!