As a reader of this blog, you probably already know the standards ways to earn more points and miles: sign up for great credit card offers, shop through online portals, maximize credit card category bonuses, manufacture spend, etc. These are the publicly discussed options. Now, for the first time ever, I’ll present my top 5 secrets to earning many more miles…
1) Move
First, if you live outside of the United States, you obviously need to move here. All of the best credit card offers, reload cards, and more are here. For those already in the US, I recommend that you move to the Midwest or South to a suburban area with a high concentration of big box stores (Walmart, Target, OfficeMax, Staples, Office Depot), grocery stores, drug stores, convenience stores, and gas stations. The ideal location has local grocery and/or drugstore chains that sell reload cards. By moving to the right location, you’ll be better positioned to take advantage of all of the deals and opportunities I write about.
Once you move, you’ll probably need a new mortgage. Great! Make sure to use a lender that is available through Evolve Money so that you can pay your mortgage with gift cards!
2) Start a business
Owning your own business is a critical step towards earning more points and miles. By owning a business you can signup for many great business card offers (editor: insert Chase Ink affiliate links here). And, most businesses require spending a lot of money. Use your new credit cards for those expenses and you’ll earn even more miles! Better yet, startup many new businesses! Some credit card companies will allow you to signup for separate business credit cards for each business and get the signup bonus each time! (editor: insert another Chase Ink affiliate link here in case they missed it the first time). When you’ve grown your business enough to hire employees, make sure to pay them with gift cards. That way, you can earn lots of miles when buying those gift cards and your employees will be happy that they can use those gift cards right away rather than having to cash a check.
3) Relationships are good for points and miles
Are you single? If so, its time to find someone with a good credit score and, ideally, their own business, and pop the question. With a spouse or significant other, you can sign up for twice as many credit cards, twice as many reloadable prepaid cards, twice as many Square Cash accounts, etc. If you’re already in a close relationship, consider expanding it. Surely you know others with good credit scores that you can welcome into your home?
4) Be more materialistic
A great way to earn points and miles is to buy lots of stuff. Sign onto your favorite shopping portal and look for the best deals. 15X at Shoebuy? Time to buy lots of shoes! 25X at Magazines.com? Maybe you should read more! Also, don’t forget to be generous to others. If you followed step 3, above, you should now have lots of people to send flowers and candy to. Look for 25X and 30X offers so that you’ll be rewarded as much as well as they are.
5) Travel, but don’t use your points & miles
When you pay for airfare and hotels with your credit card, you not only earn credit card rewards, but you usually earn miles & points from the airlines and hotels too! When you book award travel, you get none of that. In fact, you end up with fewer points and miles. Who needs that? Go crazy. Travel everywhere. Reap the rewards.
And, most important of all…
Happy April 1st everybody! Please note: The views and opinions in this post are absurd. Do not take any of the above seriously.
The one about the spouse is spot on. The problem is while you can get twice the miles/points, spouses in general cost much more than they are worth. Plus, once you get a spouse, kids can happen anytime too. Once those appear, the game’s over.
This post any other day of the year would be almost spot on. Moving to a good community is important. SoCal has lots of big box stores all around.
The best jokes have a grain of truth.
Well done.
I can already see the new bar pickup line “Do you Bluebird-Have a source for VR?” and an immediate turn and leave if the answer is no………
People will take this post as an april fools, but truth be told the points are technically true.
Crikey, TFMer! You need to hire a new editor!
I always like your April 1st post.
Thanks a heap for exposing Secret Number 1! As if the CVS debacle is not enough, you are sending the hoard to fish in my private trout pond. Shooo! Go away! We have alligators and deadly snakes and mosquitos in the south!
frankly, not really absurd at all. 1-3 are spot on, 4 can be modified to shop small utilizing the best card for the category and the best portal, and 5 can be modified to: do the math and if your return on points isn’t favourable, pay and earn status/points.
this is a ‘how to’ guide posing as an april fools joke! ahh… i get it… therein lies the joke.