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By the time I realized I had made the wrong decision, it was too late. All I could then do was pray for my life, and if I lived, pray that my wife didn’t kill me when I returned home…
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| Photo courtesy of wikimedia commons |
The evening began simply enough. My mom, who is also in Bangkok right now but not at my hotel, emailed to tell me where we were meeting for dinner. I plugged the name of the restaurant into Google Maps and identified the closest SkyTrain stop. About half an hour before the scheduled meet up, I headed out.
I made it to the SkyTrain stop without any trouble, and walked the rest of the way. The walk seemed longer than I had expected, but I still made it in time. I told the restaurant host that I was there to meet others. “Thai?” He asked. “American,” I said. He nodded definitively and led me through the restaurant.
He took me to an American family that I didn’t recognize. I’m sure they were perfectly nice, and probably would have made excellent dining companions, but I told the host that they were the wrong group. That was, arguably, my first bad decision.
It turned out that there were multiple restaurants with this same name in Bangkok. I was at the wrong one. I asked the host what was the best way to get to the right one. The SkyTrain would work, but it would require a lot of walking, backtracking, and a train change. He told me that a taxi would take about an hour because of Bangkok’s impenetrable traffic. He suggested that a motorbike would be the fastest option.
I walked out of the restaurant undecided about what to do. I started in the general direction of the SkyTrain, but directly across the street was a line of motorbikes looking for passengers. I decided to give it a shot.
Moments later, I was on the back of a motorbike, flying towards the intended restaurant. The reason motorbikes go faster than taxis or tuk-tuks in traffic is that they can ride with ease between the cars, trucks, and tuk-tuks. I knew that, of course. What I didn’t know was how fast these motorbikes could go. We flew down one road after another, between cars and trucks at what seemed to me to be highway speeds. I was terrified! Here is roughly what went through my mind:
-What the f#&%!!! was I thinking?!!!!
-The driver has survived many rides through the city so far (I assume), so I should be OK, right? No! He’s wearing a helmet! I’m not! Crap!
-Should I ask him to stop? I can get a taxi. Do I dare distract him at all? No!!!
-I wonder what Thai hospitals are like. I hope I don’t find out…
-My wife’s going to kill me. Please God, get me through this so that my wife can kill me at home!
-What the f#&%!!! was I thinking?!!!!
In what seemed like hours, but was probably more like 10 minutes, we made it to the intended restaurant. I was pale, shaking like a leaf, but unharmed. I entered the restaurant and told the host I was there to meet others. He showed me to a table full of people I didn’t recognize…
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Okay, it is a very good post, and I’ve read it several times… once when it was new and a couple of times since then…but I can’t let go of the unresolved cliff hanger. Was your mom actually at the second restaurant?! Was the first table the host brought you to just another table of random americans? 🙂
Sorry about that! Yes the second restaurant was the right one. After the host took me to the wrong table, he brought me to another section of the restaurant where my mom was.
[…] my Bangkok trip, please see the following posts. If you just want to read one, I recommend “My dangerous decision.” It has nothing to do with miles and points, but many have told me that it was their favorite of […]
I really enjoyed this report. I laughed because it is all so true.
Yes Chino, you live in Bangkok and do it all the time.
BUT for us from afar that like our knees it is nerve wracking. I must admit though it’s cheaper and faster.
Exaggeration would be an understatement. I live in BKK and use the motorbike dudes all the time. It’s not nerve wracking, it’s not a near death experience, but it is faster than a cab during traffic and cheap.
Entertaining post, keep it up.
First the passport, now a ride from hell in the Streets of Bangkok. Let’s face it FM…you are not cut out for this travel stuff alone. Either take the family or do your gc experiments and we can all be happier and you alive:-)
OMG! That was hysterical! You are too funny!
loved the report. the first line sounded like something that came out of an action movie.
Oh no! I hope you eventually found them!
Beware “survivor bias” in thinking your driver is safe. Non-survivors don’t live to tell their tale.
@FM: I agree with others, you should have at least taken one pic of your motorcycle riding, would have been a great memory for the family!
Hahah! Classic man! Honestly, every man who reads this blog will be jealous of you because THAT is what most men are looking for EVERY day is ADVENTURE! They look for it by watching football. They look for it in gambling. They look for it in other women. They look for it in buying sports cars. Etc. Men need adventure, and in most of the “safe” world and countries with a list of rules a hundred miles long (like the USA) men just don’t get it! Men don’t even get close to getting it. Dude, YOU got some!!! That’s what I call GETTING SOME and not sex!
“I wonder what Thai hospitals are like. I hope I don’t find out…”
Thai hospitals are supposedly excellent and the country is the world capital for a number of procedures on western tourists, including sex change of course.
I was thinking of starting a medical tourism business some years ago, but never went through with it. This one is supposed to be super:
http://www.bumrungrad.com/en/about-us/overview
This trip report was entertaining as were the subsequent comments. It’s too bad you found your experience so harrowing, but then again I may be jaded since my first “motorbike speeding through a busy metro area” happened in Manila when I was 5 and has repeated every time I visit my mom’s family. I guess it’s all in what we’re used to! 😉